You're the Captain Now: 10 Sex Tips Inspired by Oscar Movies

The Academy Award for Best Use of Sex Wigs goes to.

 

1. The Captain Phillips: Let your man take the lead. Just when he's getting into it and really thinks he's in control, flip him over, jump on top, and yell, "I'M THE CAPTAIN NOW!"
 
 



2. The Her: Tell him to stay at his own place one night, or if you live together, send him to a different room. Have sex via FaceTime or Skype, but with one of you using only your voice and staying completely off-camera. If you really want to get in character, have him put his phone in his shirt pocket pre-sex and walk around his apartment describing common household items to you while you laugh huskily.


3. The Wolf of Wall Street: Drink everything you have in the house. Get naked. Maybe invite some friends over. Have them get naked, too. Do you have a boat? Go get on it. If you manage not to get arrested, have an orgy.


4. The American Hustle: Do you have any '70s wigs at home? No? Go buy some. When you get back, put on some Donna Summer and get to it. For bonus accuracy, begin several days early by making a pact that you won't have sex until X thing happens — the dishes get washed, or the temperature goes above 50 — and tease him horribly until it actually does, at which point you can finally have sex on the kitchen counter or in a nightclub bathroom.

 
5. The Gravity: Get a sex swing. Boom! Weightless simulation space sex.

6. The Inside Llewyn Davis: Let the cat watch.
 


7. The Nebraska: Go on a road trip. Stop in every small town to have sex. Optional: call your family along the way and have intensely boring arguments.

8. The Great Gatsby: Initiate foreplay by flinging all of your most expensive clothes out of the closet and onto the floor. Dance among them. Now you're ready to stare longingly at one another across a room while Lana Del Rey sings mournfully in the distance.

9. The Desolation of Smaug: Speak only Elvish to one another during sex. Don't know Elvish? I can't help you.
 
 
  10. The Spring Breakers*: Go to the dollar store and invest in several plastic water guns and a lot of fake money. Dump your new items all over your bed, then lay out all your best sneakers and shorts and show everything off to your man while declaring, "Look at my sheeeyit." Have sex on top of the money and guns while blasting Skrillex at a deafening volume.

*Only Oscar-nominated in my dreams, where James Franco's campaign for Best Supporting Actor succeeded and the Academy decided to abolish the category forever because they know that no one will ever top his performance as Alien.

 Content Source: http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/tips/a5704/oscar-sex-tips/
 

 

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